When you coach yourself, the tone of your self-talk is as important as the words you use.
A harsh, critical tone, even with encouraging words, can increase your stress and hurt your performance.
To see how this works:
- Stand in front of a mirror, look at yourself, scowl, and yell “Relax!”
- How does that feel?
- Then, look in the mirror, smile, and in a soft, soothing voice, say, “Relax.”
- How did that feel?
To be the coach you want to be to yourself, practice your coaching self-talk in front of a mirror.
- Start by speaking to yourself at a normal volume with a relaxed, soothing, and confident look on your face.
- After a minute or two, switch to whispering the coaching self-talk to yourself with that same relaxed, soothing, and confident look.
- Last, switch to just thinking about coaching self-talk as you look at yourself in the mirror with that relaxed and confident look.
Practice this every day, particularly before a practice or game, a quiz or test, or any performance.